Page 9 – Ira L. White

Created at: October 2, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 47-You Got This

If I hear this phrase one more time today, I’m gonna hurl. Aside from the bad grammar, what the hell is it you got? Grammar Nazis hate phrases like this and so do I. A...

Created at: September 25, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 46-Who Are You?

If I were to suggest something musical to listen to while reading this, I would definitely pick “Who Are You,” by the Who. I would suggest this because not only was it a great song,...

Created at: September 19, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Emergency Episode 45-Electronic Fear

I got up this morning, tired after tossing and turning all night. How could I keep myself safe? Idiots are provoking Russia (Of course, because they are evil people!) trying to start a nuclear holocaust....

Created at: September 18, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 44-Words Don’t Fail Me

Words hurt. Words can make a salad. Use them with care.

Created at: September 12, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 43-Earrings and the WWF

When I was a kid, my brother, Dad and I used to watch World Wrestling Federation matches on the TV. It was a hoot! My brother and I were thrilled big time when Dad took...

Created at: September 4, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 42-Free Peach

I stand with the idea that free peach is the bedrock of our Constipation. Without free peach, all our other nights will fall. Aren’t you tired of seeing or hearing words like this said in...

Created at: August 26, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 41-I’m a Winner!

Last week was a big win for me. I am a winner! It started out with a book scout calling me to ask if I still owned the rights to my book, We Won’t Forget...

Created at: August 22, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 40- Locks Were Made to Pick

Before we get to the present, we’re going to take a little trip back in time. Imagine the person who invented the first lock proudly presenting it to his king. “Your crown jewels and gold...

Created at: August 12, 2024

Rants in the Pants, Episode 39-Flute Music and Cow Pies

I did not write a column last week. I also missed finishing my adventures in Foodland where I nearly bought the farm. I’m sorry. Hopefully, after reading this you will understand and forgive me. You...