Rants in the Pants

series

Rants in the Pants Episode 8

By Ira White / September 11, 2023 /

I have spent my life as a mostly law-abiding citizen who has never done anything to result in my incarceration. Prison is not for me. However, if, God willing, I keep on living for a few more years, it looks as if I might be classified as a felon. The weird turn to all this…

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Rants in the Pants Episode 7

By Ira White / August 20, 2023 /

Episode 7 I want to take this episode to congratulate some folks on their selflessness and downright heroic actions having to do with climate change. These people have been jetting around the globe in their private jets carrying their entourage and armored vehicles (They have to be kept safe from attacks by the riff raff…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 6

By Ira White / August 20, 2023 /

Episode 6 Gomer Pyle said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what’s inside.” I opened my box of chocolates and the one I picked had a ten-ring circus in it. I’m sure many of you know what a three-ring circus is, but did you know why they only had three rings?…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 5

By Ira White / August 20, 2023 /

Episode 5 I am confused and I’ll bet you are too. If you aren’t, then something is wrong. My confusion, and possibly yours as well, started four or five years back when Portland, Oregon was still a city and not a disaster area. I was wandering the downtown area when I saw a bunch of…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 4

By Ira White / July 21, 2023 /

My favorite subject is food. I like to eat. Give me a bag of chips and some dip and I’ll be as happy as a cat in a box factory. While you are at it, lay on me one of those frozen pizzas and a liter of my favorite soft drink. I used to be…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 3

By Ira White / July 16, 2023 /

I had something real important to write about but it slipped my mind when I discovered a question asked me by one of my fans. I can assure you that most of the questions you folks ask are frivolous and unimportant. What is important about when will WWIII start? It will start when it starts.…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 2

By Ira White / June 28, 2023 /

I really messed up last time. Let the air right out of the piece I did. Your first question would be, “Was that air tainted with dangerous CO2 and killer methane?” I can unequivocally state that no CO2 nor killer methane was released when I let the air out of my piece. But thank you…

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Rants in the Pants, Episode 1

By Ira White / June 8, 2023 /

It has come to my attention that cows fart and produce methane that will warm the earth and this is why we need to stop eating meat and dairy. It occurs to me that we now have to get rid of cows but we can’t stop there. Other animals fart and release methane as well…

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