Rants in the Pants Episode 8

I have spent my life as a mostly law-abiding citizen who has never done anything to result in my incarceration. Prison is not for me. However, if, God willing, I keep on living for a few more years, it looks as if I might be classified as a felon. The weird turn to all this is it could be at the behest of my grandchildren. You could be in danger too.

Let’s start at the beginning- I raise ducks and chickens. When the little chicks and ducklings come out they run around like crazy and most people cannot tell whether they are male or female. As they age, changes take place, and it becomes clear who is who. In the meantime they could care less if they are misgendered.

However, it seems that 44% of millennials and 30% of Gen Xers think that misgendering them is a crime worthy of jail time. What the hell is going on here? First of all, 283 genders have been declared with more on the way. How the hell is one supposed to remember all of those designations? Then there is the fact that many of these newly gendered tend to change their designations overnight. Why, I know one young man who has gone through 3 genders just this last month. Is it fair to think that one should be charged for misgendering this young man?

If that is not enough, there is the grammar aspect. Any grammar nazis want to tackle this? If someone identifies as cis, and cis replaces she or he, what will we respond when usually it would be his or hers? Cis’s? Ciss? How about “you,” “yours?” Must we use these made-up words and conjugate them in some way so they fit? Will “they” and “them” still be gender neutral or will we have to do some mental gymnastics to make xe or cis or one of the many other new gender designations fit grammatically? Someone help me out here…

Sometimes, I feel as if I have been tossed into a looney bin.

I’m outta here. I now identify as a pterodactyl sailing into the sunset of extinction. My pronouns are phhttt! And phhttts.

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