Rants in the Pants, Episode 24- The Quiet Apocalypse/Eclipse

My neighbor approached me this morning while I was pruning my rose bush. He was pulling a little wagon overloaded with large packages of toilet paper.

“Need some TP?” he asked. “I’m overstocked and I need a little cash.”

Another unwitting victim of The Apocalypse/Eclipse.

At least it’s in the past and we can progress (or regress) to the next big thing. The eclipse is over. So is the planetary alignment and the devil moon and all the other oddities that prognosticators grabbed onto to prove that a great event, either the spiritual awakening of millions and an end to tyranny or the end of the world, was going to happen. The Universe seems to have been unusually quiet while these events took place. It provided no orchestra or band to add drama to an overly dramatic event. No earthquakes. No hurricanes. No legion of Satan’s minions appearing in the sky. I feel let down.

However, I’m sure something did happen, it just hasn’t come to light yet because it was done quietly. The event was like the old puppet shows they put on in the town square a couple hundred years ago before TV and the internet. While the town folk were distracted by the show, pickpockets worked the crowd. I’m certain that while we were all looking at the sky, our government, by the rich and for the rich, did something that will lighten our pocketbooks. “Never let a good distraction go to waste.” Or was that a crisis? No matter, it works both ways.

In any case, check your wallet and your bank account. You might also check the records of Congress and your state legislature as well because many times they get to your wallet through some half-baked piece of legislation and if the measure doesn’t lighten your wallet, perhaps your right to breathe might have been affected.

I don’t have time for this. Going to go plant some potatoes so someone can come by and tell me I’m destroying the earth. I just want to leave you with a little wisdom. Apocalypse. In the old Greek language, it means “disclosure,” “unveiling.” We did have an apocalypse but what did it reveal? I’ll leave that for you to decide, but for me, it revealed how dumb some folks are, especially those responsible for wasting millions of dollars by calling out the National Guard and all the police because of the eclipse.

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