Rants in the Pants, Episode 11-Ads for Elders

The internet is a never-ending circus of amazement and amusement. It is also the source of today’s rant which started when I came across an ad on my timeline for hearing aids. I keep getting all these ads for things like walk-in tubs, adjustable eyeglasses, nose hair removal, etc. The algorithm must think I’m old or something.

Anyway, what caught my attention about this ad was the person showing off the hearing aid. She couldn’t have been more than 25 and probably not needing the hearing aid she was wearing. I don’t think people that age need hearing aids for the most part. I do recognize a problem with children and teens but it isn’t not being able to hear. It’s not wanting to listen.

By the way, as a side note, I am in the process of patenting an invention of mine that solves the non-listening problem. It comes as a button for your pocket and a little implant you put under the skin in the posterior. When their attention wanders you just jab the button and the chip delivers an electric charge to the rear end. Attention focused immediately. The problem I’m having is with the frequency it uses and the distance. There are only so many frequencies available and the distance this thing works at is important as well. You wouldn’t want to get the attention of your inattentive child at the playground and have a whole bunch of kids jumping around slapping their butts when all you wanted to alert was just yours.

In any case, I have since noticed that there are several elder products being advertised and that some of them use models far too young to be using the products. Why is that? Is it because these youngsters identify as elderly people? A lot of identity theft is going on these days. Is it because there are not enough elders due to death or infirmity? That doesn’t make sense because with a reduction in consumers it wouldn’t be profitable to advertise these products. Maybe it’s because they use beautiful young women to model because of sex appeal. Naw, they wouldn’t do that. That would be showing you a 2022 Corvett to sell you a 1961 Chevy Corvair. Any of you bright people out there have any ideas?

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